About

Are you the type of person when going for a swim takes one look at the pool, makes a running jump and goes for it? Or do you reach down with your hand to first check the temperature before slowly inching into the water with short and not-so-quiet gasps?

I seem to be more of the latter… I think I have a ‘Go For It’ attitude, but in reality, I generally move forward cautiously. I’m getting information, checking out my options and carefully moving toward my desired goal.

Looking ahead to my spouse’s retirement was like approaching that big pool filled with many questions… and no answers! I was often asked, ‘So what are you going to do when he retires?’ ‘Is he going to drive you crazy?’ or ‘What is he going to do and are you ready for the big change?’

These questions often came with the look: raised eyebrows, big questioning eyes and a slight twist to the lips. Was their voice tone also just a little higher and did I see a speck of whimsy in their eye as if to say, “You don’t know what you’re in for”?

These ‘meant for good’ but brief comments reminded me of my days as a first time pregnant mom. I don’t know about all of you, but it seemed that EVERY woman who felt inclined to tell me all about her pregnancy or labor seemed to also have a horror story to tell (Does that really have to happen in order to get this baby out????).

Now I am at the other end of the life spectrum and it feels eerily similar!!

Initially, I was more focused on how Buddy was going to handle being retired. His career had involved long work hours so he didn’t have a lot of free time to enjoy a variety of outside activities. His time off was primarily during the weekends and it was often a rush of hurry up and get any to-do’s finished so he could bike or occasionally get the kayak into the water. I knew early in our discussions about his retirement that his few outside interests would not be enough to give purpose to his day or life.

A few months back, I received one of the most helpful comments from a colleague of mine: it wasn’t just about how my spouse was going to cope or how it was going to change my life. We would also be creating a new dance together as we moved through the steps of retirement. I had the epiphany that parts of my life would stay the same but that it was also necessary to ‘create space’ in my life to allow this dance to take shape. And it wasn’t just about Buddy needing to figure out what he was going to do with his time (another well intended free piece of advice).

I began to think more seriously about the idea of creating Retirement wives. I dipped that proverbial toe into the water and dropped comments to friends: “Hey, I think I should start a blog about this whole retirement thing’ or ‘Wouldn’t it be fun to start a blog about the transitions of being the wife of a newly retired spouse?”

And so began the start of Retirement Wives….

 I’m looking toward the deeper end of the pool as I take another small step forward. A few goose bumps pop up for the ride as I anticipate submerging into the depths of that cool liquid blue!

 Ok! Ready to take a breath, jump in….and SWIM!